Exodus 33:18-23 (NIV)
18 Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”
19 And the LORD said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.
20 But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”
21 Then the LORD said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock.
22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.
23 Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”
Oh, what a glorious display Moses got to experience; he was called a "friend of God", and this is something that I was always hungry for-- is to be called a "friend of God". What could be more inspiring and motivating than living for God and knowing truly Who He is. He is the Almighty Who oversees everything and knows everything.
It is when I read these scriptures of God`s glory that I get encouraged that everything that I go through- this persecution by my husband, his family and his friends, I realize that God is everything that I have that`s worth living for. I was so frustrated when my husband communicated to me that he would wish to reconcile, yet he continues to drive slanderous accusations against me, and when I confronted him with his contradicting message, he only could say that he is putting in legal complaint whatever could possibly give him the better position to win custody regardless of how untrue or dirty that is. It is when I read these scriptures of God`s glory that I realize that interceding and waiting patiently for my husband`s repentance is all worth it because even if it was my sole live`s role before God to bring my husband to the Lord, it would be all worth the pain I go through because that would mean that I completed my mission. I couldn`t even think of faithfully interceding for my husband two months ago because of the pain, anger, and unforgiveness that I had for him. Once I repented in that and I asked the Lord to use me in whatever plan He had for me in my current circumstances, I realized that my husband`s spiritual blindness that binds him is just the same as what I experienced myself before I repented. Sin truly has a powerful grip to drive us into further and further blindness. I know that just like God didn`t give up on me when I was a prodigal, He doesn`t want to give up on my husband because Jesus died for everyone equally.
I get to experience firsthand what Jesus said in Matthew 19:29 (NIV):
29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife[e] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
I was forced to be separated from my husband, and I am not going back there until God completes His work in him. I literally live behind for now my marriage only to allow God to perform His plan, and I believe that He would bless me "a hundred times as much" in a long run for not compromising with the sin and refusing to live in sin.
I want to see God`s glory like never before, and if it means that I go through these horrible trials, then be it because I`ve seen God at work, and I know Him too well to thank Him for finishing what He already started.
If you feel discouraged today, just look at my life: my womanhood was shattered, my self-esteem damaged to no end, my house was taken away from me, I am in a constant battle for my daughter, my husband abandoned me, he humiliated me to no end, left me without money and continues to drive me into further and further financial debt retaining expensive attorneys to match him in the custody battle, yet God`s hand has been on this all along. He continues to protect me every step of the way, never giving me more than what I can handle for each day. It only makes me stronger spiritually, and I truly believe that He would use my story to bring other to know Him. I can attest to you that God is the only One who could deliver me out of my trials. The last word is always after Him regardless of how good of attorneys I`ve hired.
I continue to seek His face, and I want to be like those Believing Giants (David, Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah) who trusted the Lord and consecrated their lives completely to Him. I gave up my life to the Lord completely, and I know that He is faithful to His word.
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life[f] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25 NIV)
I am loosing my life for myself because I know that I would save it in a long run. How about you? Are you living for God or for yourself. Maybe it`s time you looked at your life and validated what is truly most important thing that you live for that drives your actions?
18 Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”
19 And the LORD said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.
20 But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”
21 Then the LORD said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock.
22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.
23 Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”
Oh, what a glorious display Moses got to experience; he was called a "friend of God", and this is something that I was always hungry for-- is to be called a "friend of God". What could be more inspiring and motivating than living for God and knowing truly Who He is. He is the Almighty Who oversees everything and knows everything.
It is when I read these scriptures of God`s glory that I get encouraged that everything that I go through- this persecution by my husband, his family and his friends, I realize that God is everything that I have that`s worth living for. I was so frustrated when my husband communicated to me that he would wish to reconcile, yet he continues to drive slanderous accusations against me, and when I confronted him with his contradicting message, he only could say that he is putting in legal complaint whatever could possibly give him the better position to win custody regardless of how untrue or dirty that is. It is when I read these scriptures of God`s glory that I realize that interceding and waiting patiently for my husband`s repentance is all worth it because even if it was my sole live`s role before God to bring my husband to the Lord, it would be all worth the pain I go through because that would mean that I completed my mission. I couldn`t even think of faithfully interceding for my husband two months ago because of the pain, anger, and unforgiveness that I had for him. Once I repented in that and I asked the Lord to use me in whatever plan He had for me in my current circumstances, I realized that my husband`s spiritual blindness that binds him is just the same as what I experienced myself before I repented. Sin truly has a powerful grip to drive us into further and further blindness. I know that just like God didn`t give up on me when I was a prodigal, He doesn`t want to give up on my husband because Jesus died for everyone equally.
I get to experience firsthand what Jesus said in Matthew 19:29 (NIV):
29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife[e] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
I was forced to be separated from my husband, and I am not going back there until God completes His work in him. I literally live behind for now my marriage only to allow God to perform His plan, and I believe that He would bless me "a hundred times as much" in a long run for not compromising with the sin and refusing to live in sin.
I want to see God`s glory like never before, and if it means that I go through these horrible trials, then be it because I`ve seen God at work, and I know Him too well to thank Him for finishing what He already started.
If you feel discouraged today, just look at my life: my womanhood was shattered, my self-esteem damaged to no end, my house was taken away from me, I am in a constant battle for my daughter, my husband abandoned me, he humiliated me to no end, left me without money and continues to drive me into further and further financial debt retaining expensive attorneys to match him in the custody battle, yet God`s hand has been on this all along. He continues to protect me every step of the way, never giving me more than what I can handle for each day. It only makes me stronger spiritually, and I truly believe that He would use my story to bring other to know Him. I can attest to you that God is the only One who could deliver me out of my trials. The last word is always after Him regardless of how good of attorneys I`ve hired.
I continue to seek His face, and I want to be like those Believing Giants (David, Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah) who trusted the Lord and consecrated their lives completely to Him. I gave up my life to the Lord completely, and I know that He is faithful to His word.
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life[f] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25 NIV)
I am loosing my life for myself because I know that I would save it in a long run. How about you? Are you living for God or for yourself. Maybe it`s time you looked at your life and validated what is truly most important thing that you live for that drives your actions?
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