Halted Hesitation by Randall D. Kittle

halted_hesitation

Will You Crucify Jesus Or Suffer With Him?

2 Kings 18:1-8 (NKJV)

18 Now it came to pass in the third year of Hoshea the son of Elah, king of Israel, that Hezekiah the son of Ahaz, king of Judah, began to reign.

² He was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned twenty-nine years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Abi^[a] the daughter of Zechariah.

³ And he did what was right in the sight of the Lord, according to all that his father David had done.

⁴ He removed the high places and broke the sacred pillars, cut down the wooden image^[b] and broke in pieces the bronze serpent that Moses had made; for until those days the children of Israel burned incense to it, and called it Nehushtan.^[c]

⁵ He trusted in the Lord God of Israel, so that after him was none like him among all the kings of Judah, nor who were before him.

⁶ For he held fast to the Lord; he did not depart from following Him, but kept His commandments, which the Lord had commanded Moses.

⁷ The Lord was with him; he prospered wherever he went. And he rebelled against the king of Assyria and did not serve him.

⁸ He subdued the Philistines, as far as Gaza and its territory, from watchtower to fortified city.

I am so grateful that God speaks to me and continues to pour out His blessings. I haven’t seen the word of God so live in a while like I see it now when I read the scriptures. Although God showed me Isaiah 36 many, many times before and used that scripture to answer my specific direction questions for the previous hearings and for the upcoming one, I haven`t noticed some of the details of the situation described in the verses. The full picture could be noted only when reading both Isaiah 36-37 and 2 Kings 16-19.

God always provides us with the fork in each one of our lives at some point where we have to choose whether we would crucify Jesus or suffer with Him. That test comes in realities of different circumstances based on what speaks to us and gets our attention the most.

Here we see that the king Hezekiah was anointed to be the next king and although his father wasn`t following the ways of the Lord, but Hezekiah chose to serve the Lord. We read the way he broke down the “high places” where idols were worshiped; he broke down the bronze serpent that people made into the idol, and he lead people back to the Lord to keep their focus on His law. However, we also see that since he became a king during the Assyrian domination, he was under the authority of the Assyrian king. Hezekiah did something extraordinary as we read it in verse 7: he rebelled against Assyrian king and refused to serve him.

When reading this chapter, God showed me 4 specific principles that applied exactly in my situation and they also apply in the life of a true believer. Hezekiah did 4 things:

1.    He rebelled against Assyrian king and refused to serve him because he chose to stand for God`s truth. Hezekiah chose not to be taken captive, so to avoid the opportunities of being mixed up with the other nations who followed the idols and false gods. Hezekiah chose to keep his people isolated in their land as God commanded them not to get mixed up with the other nations, so they don`t fall into temptation to follow false gods and forget about the Lord. This is exactly what happened to them before, and so Hezekiah is taking a stand against that even if by the price of going into war with the most powerful emprise that ruled during those days- Assyrians.   

⁶ For he held fast to the Lord; he did not depart from following Him, but kept His commandments, which the Lord had commanded Moses. ⁷ The Lord was with him; he prospered wherever he went. And he rebelled against the king of Assyria and did not serve him. (2 Kings 18:6-7 NKJV) 

2.   He repented and apologized before the Assyrian king while being under siege. Hezekiah, being a king, chose to humble himself and act lowly for the sake of obedience to the Lord. He didn`t care how humiliating he looked in the eyes of his people or in the eyes of the mighty Assyrian army. Hezekiah chose to keep his heart clean before the Lord because he knew that so long as his heart was right with the Lord, God would continue to protect him.

¹³And in the fourteenth year of King Hezekiah, Sennacherib king of Assyria came up against all the fortified cities of Judah and took them. ¹⁴ Then Hezekiah king of Judah sent to the king of Assyria at Lachish, saying, “I have done wrong; turn away from me; whatever you impose on me I will pay.” (2 Kings 18:13-14 NKJV)

3.    He agreed to pay out whatever was imposed on Hezekiah as a fine for rebelling against the Assyrian king; Hezekiah gave him everything he could collect to pay his way out (note, that he continues to choose as much of a peaceful methods, while following God at the same time, as his circumstances allow him), and we should take a note of that.

And the king of Assyria assessed Hezekiah king of Judah three hundred talents of silver and thirty talents of gold. ¹⁵ So Hezekiah gave him all the silver that was found in the house of the Lord and in the treasuries of the king’s house. ¹⁶ At that time Hezekiah stripped the gold from the doors of the temple of the Lord, and from the pillars which Hezekiah king of Judah had overlaid, and gave it to the king of Assyria. (2 Kings 18:14-16 NKJV)


4. He relied on the Lord to deliver him out of the hand of Assyrian king. Hezekiah completely submitted his circumstances into the hands of the Lord. He refused to compromise with the temptation of going to live in the fruitful plentiful land that could lead the people into the bondage of idolatry once again.

³²Until I come and take you away to a land like your own land, a land of grain and new wine, a land of bread and vineyards, a land of olive groves and honey, that you may live and not die. But do not listen to Hezekiah, lest he persuade you, saying, “The Lord will deliver us.” (2 Kings 18:32-33 NKJV).

It is important to understand each one of these principles and the reasoning behind them because when we don`t understand the word of God, we cannot use it and apply in our lives.

God always provides us with the fork in life at some point to choose whether we would crucify Jesus or suffer with Him. That test comes in realities of different set of circumstances based on what speaks to each one of us. One road at the fork would lead to life in compromise with sin and tolerance of carnal lifestyle, and another road at the fork would lead to complete surrender and willingness to die for yourself.

The above 4 principles applied in my life because I had to rebel (I took a stand for the truth of the Lord and made a choice to go against the sinful lifestyle that I kept backsliding into over and over again); I apologized and repented for being a lousy testimony and for going astray and compromising with sin; I paid out whatever I had (my house, all my possessions, my freedom at some point, my daughter); and I surrendered to the Lord to trust that He would protect me even going against the “strongest army”- against my husband and upcoming hearing.

I had to choose whether to crucify Jesus and to enter into agreement with my husband that was very tempting and alluring (that would have led me into backsliding again), or to stand for the truth which means going into battle with my husband. I chose, after many months of struggle, to follow God and enter into the final battle going into court; actually the decision wasn`t even mine to make, but my husband kept resisting to agree on anything, so I was forced to schedule a final hearing date. My final hearing was scheduled for October 19^th, so I have 3 more months of waiting and growing spiritually to get even more humble and lowly in heart.  

I chose to rebel against sinful lifestyle, against perverted teachings of the word of God, but I also chose to do all that as peacefully as I could. I continue to pray for God`s wisdom, so I don`t make hasty costly decisions.


Hezekiah agreed to pay out the “assessed” fine by the Assyrian king to keep peace, but even that didn`t work. Assyrian king came back and started pressuring Hezekiah to surrender to Assyrians, so they could take them captive into the different land (note, the verses 32-35,) where the Assyrians said:


³² until I come and take you away to a land like your own land, a land of grain and new wine, a land of bread and vineyards, a land of olive groves and honey, that you may live and not die. But do not listen to Hezekiah, lest he persuade you, saying, “The Lord will deliver us.” ³³ Has any of the gods of the nations at all delivered its land from the hand of the king of Assyria? ³⁴ Where are the gods of Hamath and Arpad? Where arethe gods of Sepharvaim and Hena and Ivah? Indeed, have they delivered Samaria from my hand? ³⁵ Who among all the gods of the lands have delivered their countries from my hand, that the Lord should deliver Jerusalem from my hand?’”(2 Kings 18:32-35 NKJV)


How many times did Satan come to me with these fearful statements attempting to sow doubts in my heart that in my previous hearings I didn`t get everything I wanted but only partially, and I would not be able to win against all the lies and accusations that my husband brings up in court. Why would I rely on God now if He didn`t give me everything I asked for before? Assyrians make these same assumptions that since Israel (the northern kingdom that was captured by the Assyrian king for their straying from God) didn`t stand the battle, although they were supposed to have the same “God” as Hezekiah has, and if they fell down, then why would Hezekiah think that he is any different from them. Why does Hezekiah think that he is any better than Israel to be able to win the battle with Assyrians?


The difference between Israel and Judah (and between me and my husband) was in their walk with the Lord. We read in the verses 9-12 the reason as to why Israel went into captivity and why they didn`t win their battle with Assyrians:


⁹ Now it came to pass in the fourth year of King Hezekiah, which was the seventh year of Hoshea the son of Elah, king of Israel, that Shalmaneser king of Assyria came up against Samaria and besieged it. ¹⁰ And at the end of three years they took it. In the sixth year of Hezekiah, that is, the ninth year of Hoshea king of Israel, Samaria was taken. ¹¹ Then the king of Assyria carried Israel away captive to Assyria, and put them in Halah and by the Habor, the River of Gozan, and in the cities of the Medes, ¹² because they did not obey the voice of the Lord their God, but transgressed His covenant and all that Moses the servant of the Lord had commanded; and they would neither hear nor do them. (2 Kings 18:9-12 NKJV)


When we see such strong statements as: “they would neither hear nor do them” that means that there have been prophets who came on numerous occasions to warn Israelites that the judgment of the Lord was coming if they didn`t turn their ways and hearkened to Him. If they repented and surrendered to the Lord, He would have saved them from the hand of the Assyrians.


¹³ Yet the Lord testified against Israel and against Judah, by all of His prophets, every seer, saying, “Turn from your evil ways, and keep My commandments and My statutes, according to all the law which I commanded your fathers, and which I sent to you by My servants the prophets.” ¹⁴ Nevertheless they would not hear, but stiffened their necks, like the necks of their fathers, who did not believe in the Lord their God. ¹⁵ And they rejected His statutes and His covenant that He had made with their fathers, and His testimonies which He had testified against them; they followed idols, became idolaters, and went after the nations who were all around them, concerning whom the Lord had charged them that they should not do like them. ¹⁶ So they left all the commandments of the Lord their God, made for themselves a molded image and two calves, made a wooden image and worshiped all the host of heaven, and served Baal. ¹⁷ And they caused their sons and daughters to pass through the fire, practiced witchcraft and soothsaying, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the Lord, to provoke Him to anger. ¹⁸ Therefore the Lord was very angry with Israel, and removed them from His sight; there was none left but the tribe of Judah alone. (2 Kings 17:13-18 NKJV)


What`s even more important that both Israel and Judah had the same call to repent. God didn`t forget about one side and only decided to call to repentance Judah while giving up on Israel. No, God sent prophets to both parts of the divided kingdom: north and south, and they both had a chance to repent equally, but Israel chose not to do that while Judah repented and with Hezekiah they started walking in the way of the Lord. We read that in chapters 16-17 in the book of 2 Kings, both Israel and Judah were doing the evil in the sight of the Lord.


Israel didn`t walk in the ways of the Lord:


17 In the twelfth year of Ahaz king of Judah, Hoshea the son of Elah became king of Israel in Samaria, and he reigned nine years. ² And he did evil in the sight of the Lord, but not as the kings of Israel who were before him. ³ Shalmaneser king of Assyria came up against him; and Hoshea became his vassal, and paid him tribute money. (2 Kings 17:1-3 NKJV)


Judah didn`t walk in the ways of the Lord:


16 In the seventeenth year of Pekah the son of Remaliah, Ahaz the son of Jotham, king of Judah, began to reign. ² Ahaz was twenty years old when he became king, and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem; and he did not do what was right in the sight of the Lord his God, as his father David had done. ³ But he walked in the way of the kings of Israel; indeed he made his son pass through the fire, according to the abominations of the nations whom the Lord had cast out from before the children of Israel. ⁴ And he sacrificed and burned incense on the high places, on the hills, and under every green tree (2 Kings 16:1-4 NKJV)


Both kingdoms chose to follow the false idols and they paid for that in the subsequent years because both kingdoms went into captivity under Assyrians. The big distinction in the time period as to why and when each kingdom went into captivity to Assyrians comes with decisions to follow after the Lord. This is very important for us to see, realize, and take a note for our lives.


We see that Judah`s king Ahaz was not following the Lord, and so was Israel. During that time Syria went out to war with Judah and Ahaz decided to ask Assyrians (interestingly enough) to come out and help defeat Syrians. We read in chapter 2 Kings 16:7-20 that Assyrian king came out and helped to defeat Syrians, and Ahas in return copied the altar of the false god that Assyrian king was worshiping and brought that design with him back home, so he could worship the same false god. During that time both king of Judah and Assyrian king were friends, and they had no conflict because they both were worshiping the false gods; nobody took a stand for God. Tolerance and compromise doesn`t bring war; it is the truth of the Lord that brings division.


This is one of the most important revelations that God confirmed for me when He asked me to take a stand for His truth and make a choice whether to crucify Jesus in my heart or to suffer with Him. The only time when confrontation enters our lives is when we refuse to compromise with lies of this world, and until then we are fine just like Ahaz had no confrontation with the Assyrian king. The time when the war began between the Assyrians and Judah was when Ahaz`s son Hezekiah chose to follow the Lord, and he took a stand for His ways by destroying the “high places”, Nehushtan, rebelled against serving Assyrian king, etc. This is when Assyrian king sent his people and questioned Hezekiah`s trust in the Lord.


How many times do we face struggles and confrontation once we take a stand for the Lord? It never happens when we live in compromise because we don`t represent any threat to Satan; the only time when we become a threat to Satan is when we surrender to God. This is when we start seeing our “normal” world collapse in one way or another. My world collapsed when I took a stand not to go captive back to the same slavery to sin. I`ve had it- living a life for the lusts of my flesh. I choose to live for the Lord.

Again, we must realize that we always get this choice in life and God repeatedly comes back and asks to hearken to Him, but when we make the wrong choices, consequences of judgment follow. I had to be like Hezekiah: rebel, repent, pay out, and trust in the Lord to deliver me out of the hands of my enemies.


Do you have circumstances where you must choose: if you would crucify Jesus in your heart or suffer with Him? If you do, then I urge you to make the right choice and choose Jesus because He is faithful to deliver us out of the worst circumstances. If you will choose to crucify Him and will choose to live for yourself, you choose judgment of the Lord, which will follow at some point in your life, just like it happened with Judah the Iscariot (who betrayed Jesus), and Israelites mentioned above.


When Jesus came, He brought a clear division where people had to choose whether they would be for Him or against Him. There was no other option, and nothing changed since then. At some point in our life we always come to the stop where we have to choose whether we would crucify Jesus with our ignorance, tolerance, compromise with sin, or whether we would suffer with Him- enduring persecution, like I do now, or losing everything you have, like I did, or surrendering the dearest treasures in your life (family, kids, career, financial wellbeing, etc.), like I did.


We always have a choice, and I urge you to choose life; life with God is a lot more abundant than what we can create it ourselves because His ways are higher than ours. I am facing Red sea going for my final hearing in October, but I trust that God is faithful and mighty enough to part it in front of me to let me walk on dry land with full victory to bring all the glory to Him just like He did with Israelites when bringing them out of Egypt.

Hezekiah prayed to God to deliver him out of the hand of Assyrians, and God was faithful to do that. God answered his prayer through the prophet Isaiah, and he said in 2 Kings 19:14-34 (NKJV):

³² “Therefore thus says the Lord concerning the king of Assyria: ‘He shall not come into this city, Nor shoot an arrow there, Nor come before it with shield, Nor build a siege mound against it. ³³ By the way that he came, By the same shall he return; And he shall not come into this city,’
Says the Lord. ³⁴ ‘For I will defend this city, to save it For My own sake and for My servant David’s sake.’”

God would not be mocked, and He knows those who live for Him by their names; Jesus knows His sheep and they know Him. If you face the impossible circumstances today like I do, I urge you to surrender to God completely, even if it means you take a stand and sacrifice the comfort zone that you have right now.

Jesus said in John 14:6-7 (NKJV):

⁶ Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. ⁷ “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him.”

Matthew 7:13-14 (NKJV) also writes:

¹³ “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. ¹⁴ Because^[a] narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Choose Jesus, and you will choose life. You will not regret it. I wake up every morning, and I realize that my life is in God`s hands. This is not just a futile promise, but the most realizable assurance I can have from the Lord- He is my Shepherd; He is my Shelter, He is my way. If you are at the fork in your life and thinking about compromising, I urge you to choose Jesus even if the price seems too steep to pay. God will return all that to you and even more like He did with Job, with Joseph, with Abraham, with Ruth, with Esther, with Daniel and his friends, and the list goes on and on.

Remember that trials and hardships would not put you under God`s protection if you will be like king Ahaz who chose to rely on Assyrian king for help in his war with Syria rather than repenting and trusting in the Lord like Hezekiah did. You will see confrontation only when you take a stand for the Lord, and at times it would seem like it`s not worth going through with it. During those days, know that Satan will sow doubts, but God is mighty and faithful to strengthen you. You only need to keep your focus on Jesus and have your motivations in the right place; check them against the scripture and pray for the Lord to show you what else you need to change in your heart to get victory like Hezekiah did. God will show you and will bless you abundantly for your willingness to do more for Him.

Vessels For His Glory

Acts 16:31 (NIV)

³¹ They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved —you and your household.”

God is our Potter and we area clay in His hands. All the promises He lists in the Bible is to show an example of a potential Masterpiece for His glory. In this scripture, God promised us one of the most powerful assurances that if someone in the household gets saved, the entire household would get saved, and I think as believers, we don`t always remember this promise and use it in our lives. This promise alone produces masterpieces of changed lives for God`s glory.

The reason why this particular scripture is so crucial for me is because my marriage (my household) cracked in half because one decided to be saved and another one decided to live for desires of its flesh. If every married couple memorized this scripture and stood on this promise, than God would have been faithful to complete what He started. It is much easier to find justifications as to why divorce is appropriate and why relationships didn`t work, rather than trust the Lord to be faithful to fulfill this scripture. This particular excuse for being unsaved could not be used in marriage when looking into the issue of marrying an unbeliever or getting saved after being married because it`s clear that God has promised to save entire household.

One of the pastors and some of my friends told me I was completely justified to get a divorce because my husband left me, and because he acts like an unbeliever (although claiming to be saved), according to 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, I could keep up with my life if only stayed unmarried. Year ago this lie would have been very appealing to me, but today I choose to believe that God is faithful to finish what he started; and according to His word, He promised that if one person gets saved, the entire household would get saved. Being saved means a complete change of behavior because salvation produces fruit of repentance just like walking in Spirit produces fruits of the Holy Spirit that are mentioned in Galatians 5.

I could use excuses for my husband being unfaithful, and doing plenty of other things to ruin my life, but I choose to look at my circumstances through a different lenses. I choose to look at my afflictions and trials as a way for God to raise my faith to the next level in order to use me in His ministry that I`ve been praying for so many years.  We tend to rush into concluding that all the problems and sufferings that we get are from Satan, and some of them do come in as an attempt to destroy us as 1 Peter 5:8 says that Satan seeks whom to devour as he roams around like a lion. However, in majority of the other circumstances, it is God who puts us through the refining furnace of afflictions to save us, to build us up, and to purify our faith.

One of the scriptures through the sermon that I listened to last week just brought me even lower to my knees. The scripture was from Lamentations 3 where Jeremiah laments about what happened to him and what became of him.  

^1[a]I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of the Lord’s wrath. ²He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; ³ indeed, he has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long. ⁴ He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. ⁵He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship.⁶He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead. ⁷He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains. ⁸Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. ⁹He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked. ¹⁰Like a bear lying in wait,like a lion in hiding, ¹¹he dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help. ¹² He drew his bow and made me the target for his arrows. ¹³He pierced my heart with arrows from his quiver. ¹⁴I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long. ¹⁵ He has filled me with bitter herbs and given me gall to drink. ¹⁶He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust. ¹⁷I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. ¹⁸ So I say, “My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:1-18 NIV)

How powerful is this scripture from Jeremiah as he was sitting in the darkness during one of his imprisonments and praying all those things. He realized that it was God who applied the rod of His wrath in order to refine his character and to get Jeremiah to the place of complete surrender. At some point when reading the book of Jeremiah in the Bible we see that he refused to speak up God`s word and His prophecies to the people because they kept sending him to prison, and they weren`t listening to repent (Jeremiah 20:9).  As a result, God had to apply His “rod of wrath” in order to get Jeremiah back to speaking up the prophecies.

 For some of us it does require to have God “break our bones”, or to “dwell in darkness” (have silence from God and not have any guidance from Him what to do), or to have “Him drive you away into the darkness rather than light”, or to have His hand “turn against” you again and again, or to have “bitterness and hardships”, or to be “walled in”, so there is no escape.

Look at all these things that Jeremiah names for what God did to him in order to gain his full attention. It wasn`t Satan who burdened Jeremiah with all those afflictions, it was God Himself who did that. I was blown away when I re-read that whole third chapter because it answered to one of my main questions as to when would my trials stop? It would not stop until I completely surrender to God and scrub all my pride out because God would not be able to use me in my current capacity. My faith although gotten stronger, but I am not at the place of complete surrender yet, and now I know it because time to time I test it through different scriptures or sermons. I complain and complain, and complain, instead of laying all my burdens down at the cross. God is a Potter, and He will not give up on any of His masterpieces until each of His art projects is finished.

To me it was a revelation to hear that the reason why it took 25 years for Abraham to have Isaac, since the day God promised him a son, was because it took 25 years for God to make Abraham into Abraham (Father of faith) instead of him staying as Abram (Genesis 17:1-5). God wasn`t interested in just producing an offspring by using Abraham`s lineage, He was interested in producing a Father of Faith who could be used as an example for the next thousands of generations.

It takes time to get me to the place of complete surrender, but it`s really up to me as to how long it would take. As soon as I`m ready to do what it takes, God would move the mountains if necessary to accomplish His promise to save my household and to bring my marriage back together. It`s up to me how much I would prolong my afflictions to get to the place of surrender.
If you have trials and you feel hopeless, it`s up to you as to how much longer you would resist God`s hand. Surrender it all- meaning you die to yourself (the lust of the flesh, the pride, the selfishness; they have to go), and as soon that happens, God would be more than willing to take you by the hand and bless you.

This was a great revelation to me to be reminded that not only did God promised to save my whole family, but He also promised to bless me in plenty of other ways: to deliver me, to save me, to love me, to guard me, to protect me, to provide for me, and the list goes on and on. I don`t want to spend 25 years like Abraham did to allow God to accomplish what He started only because I chose to live with pride, or not to look foolish in the eyes of the world, or to look too meek and lowly. This is exactly what Jesus was: lowly, meek, and humble, and He urged us to learn of Him to become the same way (Matthew 11:29)

Year ago, I was thinking about all the justified things I could name in order to divorce my husband, but year later, I`m naming all the promises of God that I have in order to save my family. It takes all this time for God to mold me to become His masterpiece because there are some areas in my life that I still hold on to and refuse to let go. God is faithful to finish what He started, but it`s really up to us as how long it would take to allow God to finish each one of His art projects. Jeremiah had his teeth broken with gravel, and he went through endless amount of imprisonments in order to say later on:

¹⁹I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. ²⁰I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. ²¹Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. ²³They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ²⁴I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” ²⁵ The Lordis good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; ²⁶it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.²⁷It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. ²⁸ Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lordhas laid it on him. ²⁹ Let him bury his face in the dust — there may yet be hope. ³⁰Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. ³¹For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. ³²Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. ³³For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone. (Lamentations 3:19-33 NIV)

“It is good for a man to bear yoke”, and so many months later, I can testify to that and agree with Jeremiah. Through my hardships and agonies I learn to trust the Lord completely. Only on Saturday I was choking by all the impossibilities of my circumstances and helplessness, but I bring them to the Lord now, so many months later, and I say that “Lord Is my portion”, and I will wait for Him. God is faithful and just although He had to hide from me again and again at some point in order to crack me and to refine me; I am grateful to Him so many months later that He continues to guide me and to sustain me.

What`s amazing in this whole situation is that God does provide me with the special anointing to make it through these valleys of death just like He promised in Psalm 84:6-8 (NIV):

⁵Blessed are those whose strength is in You, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. ⁶As they pass through the Valley of Baka,they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.^{[d] 7} They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

In my Bible it literally means as I walk through the Valley of Weeping, I open up the springs. God brings me from strength to strength and showers me with these “springs” of His revelations. I read His word and I find endless amount of promises and discover His word under new lenses that I`ve never noticed before. How else could I ever get to this place if I wasn`t going through this valley of weeping.

I have learnt a very valuable lesson that God is faithful to fulfill His promises, but He doesn`t bend His conditions. There are conditions apply to His promise every single time. He will spend as much time as needed to refine me in order to bring me to the same place as Jeremiah got to say that God is the One who brings over all these afflictions for my own benefit. It is because He made me with purpose to serve Him, and until He refines me into the person that He could use, He is not going to stop “breaking my teeth” or putting me through the “darkness” when I can`t hear His voice. God is a Sovereign God and because He doesn`t compromise His standards, He takes all the necessary time show us how His promises work; how His conditions apply in each promise.  

If you are in a similar situation, I encourage you to look at your circumstances from the different angle and seek the Lord to show you the purpose of them. He will guide you if only you would seek Him. He doesn`t want any life to be wasted, and chances are, if you do go through some horrible afflictions like I am, it is because it`s either you with whom He is doing some major “Art Project” or with the opposing party who needs time in order to surrender to God. Remember, that it wasn`t only Joseph who needed 13 years in jail, but it was also his brothers who needed certain amount of time to realize what they did to Joseph was unacceptable and barbarian in order to repent. There are always two sides to the medal.

Remember, also that if you face family issues, don`t through the flag down and give up, but trust the Lord is capable to do the major “Art Project” to mold you into the one whom He plans you to be. More than ones God likens us to the clay in His hands, and Him being a Potter (Romans 9:20-21); He can produce some major art masterpiece with your life if you would allow Him to use your life as a vessel for His glory.

Throwing Shadow Over God`s Plans

Job 38:1-3 (NIV)

¹Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

² “Who is this that obscures My plans with words without knowledge?
³ Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.

Woe to me for questioning God about anything for I know nothing about His plans, and all my complaints are like “words without knowledge”. This is how I feel after God shook me up through the sermon I listened to yesterday. This scripture and another scripture really took me to the next level of God`s work with my character. I feel like Job, who was silenced and had nothing to answer God when He started questioning him about all the things God created from the beginning in chapters 38-39. I wasn`t there when God created the earth, or the moon, or the stars; I wasn`t there when He created me and appointed a specific plan for my life, so I have no right to complaint about my circumstances because my complaints only “obscure” God`s plans.

This is a very interesting scripture that although I held dear to my heart, but I never fully analyzed the depth of the words that God said here. He said that all Job`s complaints are “words without knowledge”; the words that have no meaning- they are empty words. For 37 chapters in a row Job continued to complain about his life and all the afflictions that he was going through. Job kept on walking a very thin line to curse God at some point, and although he didn`t curst God, but he kept asking to talk to God, so he could question Him about all his problems. In the end God answered him and told Job that he had no idea what kind of plans God had in mind for him, so all his complaining words are empty and only “obscure My plans”. Job had no idea that thousands of years later his name would be among one of the most studied books in the Bible for generations to see God`s character and see the way God exalted Job as an example of righteous walk with God. Job had no idea that God had a great plan for his life because all he could think of was his current state of mind and circumstances which looked the opposite of what we read in the end of the book of Job (he got everything back and even more because God is faithful).

I think we should take special care as to what we say to God and what we question Him about because we can “obscure” His plans and prevent Him from moving in our lives with doubts and complaints. I personally read these verses and repent to seek God`s forgiveness for speaking those “words without knowledge”, those empty words of doubt. I don`t ever want to limit God in my life, to limit what He could potentially do with my life. God has a plan for your and my life, and we have to be patient if we don`t understand something because we will find out in its due season what was the purpose of specific situations. I may not understand fully why am I going to the court, but I`ll find out in God`s time.

When we “obscure” God`s plans, we become disobedient to Him. The word obscure literally means to “keep from being seen”, so when we obscure God`s plans, we keep them from being seen, we throw a shadow on His plans; we prevent God from disclosing them to us. Our empty words, or words without knowledge, block us from understanding God. That`s why in the previous article (Blackened Darkness), I shared the way God reminded me of the responsibility that comes with the knowledge. When God shares something with us, He makes us responsible for that and what we do with that knowledge. If God promised that all things work together for good to those who love God (Romans 8:28), then we have this knowledge and responsibility not to doubt His word.

I really have no right to challenge God because I wasn`t there when He created everything from scratch, and I don`t have capacity to encompass what He potentially has in store for me. What I do know is that His plans are only for the better, so He could bless me. If you have any doubts about your circumstances and you don`t understand them like I don`t understand mine, trust them to the Lord. I think we should take a good lesson out of this scripture not to doubt God and His provision for our lives. He loves us, and He has plenty of blessings in store for us, so let`s honor His word; let`s treasure them and store them in our hearts, so He could complete what He started.

In Psalm 37:5-6 (NKJV) David wrote:

⁵Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. ⁶ He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

Solomon said in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV):

⁵Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.^[a]

All I can pray is for the Lord to put a seal on my lips to never speak anything against God or to doubt His good work in my life. His plans are great, and I repent if I ever threw a shadow on His plans for my life with worthless empty words.

I choose to be like Job who said:

³ Then Job answered the Lord: ⁴ “I am unworthy —how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth.⁵I spoke once, but I have no answer —twice, but I will say no more.” (Job 40-:3-5 NIV)

What else can I say to God who is almighty and all-knowing? I am unworthy, and I don`t want to throw any shadows on His plans for my life, but I want Him to use them for His glory even if I don`t understand them right now.

I urge you to evaluate what`s in your heart and the way you react to your situations. Do you easily get angered by circumstances? Do you easily get frustrated with not getting what you want? I don`t know what your circumstances are, but I urge you not to lean on your own understanding, or to doubt God. Humble yourself to the Lord, and He shall bring it to pass- all the plans that He has for your life. There is not one life that`s not valuable to Him, and who knows maybe you are among those who would be spoken of like Job is today- being one of the most righteous man who ever walked the earth. He encountered a lot, he suffered a lot, but he trusted the Lord to be faithful.

I trust You, Lord, all of my ways, and I will not lean on my understanding to make my paths straight and to bring it to pass everything you have planned for my life, in Jesus Name, Amen.