"Fire Tests The Quality Of Each Person`s Work"

1 Corinthians 3:11-15 (NIV)

¹¹ For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. ¹² If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, ¹³ their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. ¹⁴ If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

God showed me this scripture yesterday when I found out that my husband is kicking my aunt and her son out of our house. My aunt has been a babysitter for my daughter, and that was my only way of knowing what is going on with my daughter because my husband refuses to coordinate for me to see her and keeps me away from the house. As he continues to do evil, I know that God will reveal the quality of his work and my work.

All I ever wanted to have was christian family that would serve God, and I tried my best to bring my husband to the Lord. I never cared much about money, or the luxuries of this world, and throughout my life God`s been taking me to the higher and higher level of having faith in impossible. Although my husband started going to one church, he is contradicting with his actions what`s written in the Bible.

The hardest challenge for me right now is to trust in the Lord with all my heart and know that He will try all the work, and He will bring all the truth out. I cannot do evil for evil; I only continue to pray that God would bring my husband to his knees and his repentance will change the cour direction of our relationships. Right now he is playing dirty games by taking away my daghter from me, and it is a very hard challenge for me not to take him to the court for that. I have no money to do that, and I know that it would be wrong to do because I don`t want to testify against him. I believe that God`s judgement is more powerfull and faithful than any judge on this earth could rule. My hope and trust is in the Lord, and I know that although I am going through the toughest circumstances-- being homeless, penniless, facing criminal charges, endless slenderous accusations from my husband, his family and his friends, I know that God is faithful and mighty to change all that.

God is going to reward me only if I stand firm to the end on His truth to follow His word. It takes all the faith that I have and don`t have, but God is showing me the power of prayer right now. He is teaching me to obey His word, His truth, and He is raising my faith for all the glory that I can bring Him.

Please continue to pray for me and for my husband to soften his heart and to repent in everything that he is doing. He is not thinking about well-being of our daughter, and that breaks my heart to pieces over and over again waking up every day and not knowing what is going on with her and when will I see her again.

God Is In Control

As I went to the court today to discuss a mutual protectice order of me against my husband and him against me, I had a few scriptures that God gave me in the past few days as I was seeking His will regarding what to do in the court today.

The first scripture was Isaiah 36 (the whole chapter) where it says in the first few verses:

¹ In the fourteenth year of King Hezekiah’s reign,^[a] King Sennacherib of Assyria came to attack the fortified towns of Judah and conquered them. ² Then the king of Assyria sent his chief of staff^[b] from Lachish with a huge army to confront King Hezekiah in Jerusalem. The Assyrians took up a position beside the aqueduct that feeds water into the upper pool, near the road leading to the field where cloth is washed.^{[c] 3} These are the officials who went out to meet with them: Eliakim son of Hilkiah, the palace administrator; Shebna the court secretary; and Joah son of Asaph, the royal historian (Isaiah 36:1-3, NKJV).

The Assyrian king`s chief of staff was authorized to threaten and to "negotiate" the conditions of the Judea`s captivity. The king Hezekiah heard out the speach and all the conditions, and he ordered to everyone to be quite and not to respond to the speach. Later on, he went to the temple and prayed to God as to what to do, and so God would deliver him out of the hand of Assyrian king (and in the end God did).

²¹ But the people were silent and did not utter a word because Hezekiah had commanded them, “Do not answer him.” (Isaiah 36:21)

The main few points that jumped at me in my situation was:

-I had no right to rely on my attorneys beause they are just as much flesh and ashes as me (God sais in Isaiah 36 not to rely on Egypt, and in my situation attorney was relying on Egypt).

- The next important point for me was to keep my mouth shut and not to testify against my husband regardless of how much I wanted to say the truth. I had to do the opposite-- to drop all the charges against him, and I had to let God defend me and deal with my husband.

- In the end, Assyrian king when he returned home, he was killed by his own sons, and in my situation, I expect that my husband`s reputation and pride would be dismounted by his own kean, his own friends, his job, etc., but it would not be by me.

As I came to the court, and I told my attorney that I would drop the charges for the protective order, my husband wanted to go for a hearing and claim the house, custody of our daughter, car, etc. After numerous negotiations tempting me to comply to move back to the house under the mutual protective order "not to abuse each other", I declined it as I knew that I had to drop the charges altogether, and if I agreed to the conditions of the negotioans, than I would have had to keep my protective order against my husband. In addition, I knew that it was only a trick that my husband was playing against me, so he could provoke me with the first possible opportunity and get me arrested again.  

All I kept on saying was that I was dropping the charges against my husband regardless of what he did and whether he continued to file the charges against me. After a few more attempts to negotiate and scare me with the possible outcome of losing my daughter`s custody for a long period of time, I stayed faithful to God and I kept my faith in what He showed me to do. He honored that in return, and my husband dropped the protective order charges in return.

In chapter 36:8-10 of Isaiah, the chief of staff for Assyrian king tried to mock and tempt with the similar negotiations that I had to deal with today:

⁸ “I’ll tell you what! Strike a bargain with my master, the king of Assyria. I will give you 2,000 horses if you can find that many men to ride on them! ⁹ With your tiny army, how can you think of challenging even the weakest contingent of my master’s troops, even with the help of Egypt’s chariots and charioteers? ¹⁰ What’s more, do you think we have invaded your land without the Lord’s direction? The Lord himself told us, ‘Attack this land and destroy it!’”

Instead, I chose to stick to what God showed me to do, and that was to drop the charges against my husband and let God deal with Him. All the charges that my husband keeps on pressing against me, God would help me fense off, but I have to stay blameless as much as I can and regardless of how much my husband continues to drive me into the ground.

Another scripture that God showed me prior to today`s court hearing was in 1 Peter 3:13-18

¹³ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴ But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats^[b]; do not be frightened.”^{[c] 15} But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶ keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. ¹⁷ For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. ¹⁸ For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. (NIV)

As long as I continue to do what`s good and what is right in the eyes of the Lord, God is in complete control of everything that is going on regardless of whether I feel that way or not. I just have to keep on reminding myself that God is in Control.

I am yet to hear about what is going on with my psychological evaluation because this is something that I want to do in order to prove my husband wrong and to stop his slendering my reputation and argument over physical custody of our daughter. I am yet to face the criminal court and to fight for my freedome, but I know that God is in control, and all I have to do is to continue to seek Him and to seek His word and His truth.

For all of you who prayed for me, thank you! Prayers always work, and god is good!!!

Prayer Request

If you wonder why I haven`t written in so long, that is because I`ve been fighting for my daughter all this time. My husband stripped me off the house, our 21 months old daughter, and drained me financially. I am homeless, without any hope to see my baby ever again, and I am broke beyond any comprehension.

All in all, I keep asking God--Why? I was trying to protect my daughter from the possible harm, but instead I ended up in jail by my own husband. It`s been over two weeks, and to this day I still can`t comprehend that he could do something like that to me. I have never met anyone this cruel in my life. Everyone who tried to reaosn with him and plead, had no chance, and he continues to press charges against me for something that was self-defense when he trapped me inside of the house with the child.

I keep asking God for guidance and scriptures to sustain me, and one of the main scriptures that He gave me a few months back that He continues to reiterate is in Nahum:

 ¹³ For now I will break off his yoke from you,and burst your bonds apart.” (Nahum 1:13 NKJV)

I am literally facing criminal court (just like my husband does), and he refuses to drop the charges against me. At this point I feel like Joseph who is going to be thrown in prison for something that I wasn`t guily of doing while my husband would continue to trot blamelessly for all the evil he continues to commit.

I know I have to trust in the Lord because He is my only hope, and my husband right now holds all the cards; although he continues to reiterate that everything is up to me. I don`t know what will happen next Monday on 11/28/11 when the final hearing will decide whether to grant me my house, my daughter, or whether it would be my husband who`s gonna get everything.

I have no more money left for attorney`s services to appeal into the higher court, and only God`s mercy can save me at this moment. I hope that one day when my daughter grows up, she will know that I fought for her and did everything I could to get her back and to raise her in God`s word.

Please pray for me, so God grants me the custody of my daughter, and His truth would come out as a victory. I have no means to rent an apartment, and I don`t know how much longer the hospitality of my distant acquantance would last longer. I still have my job and my supervisor`s understanding, so at least I have that.

Reality Of Being Forgiven

As I am working through the Gospel of Luke and John now, I came to read one of my favorite passages in Luke 15:11-32, the proverb of a prodigal son. This story tells us so much about our Father`s character, and what He is willing to do only if we make that first step to turn to Him.

It is said in verses 11-24 (NIV):

¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

It`s important to note that it didn`t take long for the younger son to gather all the inheritance and to be on a way out. Some of us are like that: we come to God, get saved, accept all His grace and goodness, and love, and then once we got all the inheritance, we are on a way out to keep on living however we want. It doesn`t take us long to “squander” all this inheritance and become needy once again because without God there is no fullness in life.

My life was empty when I tried to live a self-pleasing life. Self-indulgence only works to a certain extent, but with that the degree of loneliness and emptiness never disappears. I think it`s important for us to recognize the reality of God`s love for us to know that He always stays faithful to us, waiting for us to come back to Him, so He could make that feast in one`s honor. That`s the nature of God—He longs for relationship with his children.
Another important thing to note here is that the younger son “came to his senses” when he decided to come back to his Father. When we live in sin, we lose our senses, just like it says in Psalm 81:11-12 and 1 Corinthians 5:5 (please refer to the article on Sobriety Check-Point) that one is given to the desires of heart`s lusts. Sin makes us deaf to convictions of the Holy Spirit, and the further astray one goes, the deafer one becomes to hear God`s voice to repent. That`s why we see that the younger son had to “come to his senses”; he was so lost without God in his life, not having anything left for him to live for, and those circumstances drove him back to his Father. I think the scriptures both in Psalm 81:12 and in 1 Corinthians 5:5 point to exactly that cycle: unless one is given up to his heart`s lust, one would not be able to see that emptiness, futility, and “come to his senses”. Sometimes it`s the only way to get one saved, is to live one alone until that sinful nature brings out that despair of hopelessness, emptiness, and regret. I went through that cycle, and I observe how someone else goes through it now also.
Once the younger son came to his sense, he realized that he didn`t deserve anything, and that is the ultimate point of repentance and regret. I think it`s impossible to truly repent without that brokenness; otherwise, it`s not genuine. God always looks at one`s heart and searches for that contrite spirit, that humbleness, and if it`s not there, than there is no genuineness in repentance (verse 21). This is what Isaiah and David wrote:

¹ This is what the LORD says: “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Where is the house you will build for me? Where will my resting place be? ² Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?” declares the LORD. “These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word. (Isaiah 66:1-2 NIV)

¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is^[a] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise (Psalm 51:17 NIV)

¹⁵ For this is what the high and exalted One says— he who lives forever, whose name is holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. (Isaiah 57:15 NIV)

That brokenness and desire to know Him is what drives us to repent. I hated that emptiness and sense of wasted life when I lived in sin. I prayed that these scriptures would become alive in my life because it`s the only way to please our Lord—to have that meekness, contrite spirit, to tremble at His word.

Our Father will accept anyone who is willing to come to Him, and He will forgive. It is interesting how Jesus mentions that “this son of mine was dead and is alive again” (verse 24) because when we sin, we are dead in our trespasses, and the punishment for that is hell. When we repent, we rise up from the “dead” with Jesus, we become alive again; we become inheritors of the Heavenly Kingdom. The truth is so overpowering to even think that someone unworthy like me, who was “dead in my sins”, became alive again through His forgiveness and mercy, through acceptance of Jesus blood shed on the cross for me. Jesus blood washes away all of our sins if only we come to Him with our “senses”. The repentance has to be genuine, with contrite spirit and brokenness because it`s the only place where we can understand the reality of our worthless sinful nature and the need for Jesus` sacrifice.

Our Father would make a feast in your honor if only you would hearken to Him and come to your senses. If you fill like you lost track in your life and you need to come back because you squandered all that inheritance from Father: His love, forgiveness, mercy, grace, then I urge you to pray to Him and repent just like this younger son did. God`s love is forever, and He stays faithful to us even when we don`t.