Thursday, June 28, 2012

Turning The Other Cheek

Luke 6:27-31 (NIV)

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.
30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.
31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

I had to be reminded once again of this principle by the Holy Spirit today. This is a very powerful principle that breaks the walls of hatred, mistrust, and evil. I remember very clearly the days when I had to repent in slapping in return instead of turning in the other cheek, and I had to repent of attempting to take back what belonged to me by the right, instead of giving in even the undershirt. I pray that all these tangible things would never have a grip on me and impact the way I treat others as a consequence of evil caused by them to me.

In the movie “Les Miserables” with Liam Neeson, the movie starts out with the ex-prisoner, Neeson, who was a beggar without any money, who got admitted into the house by the priest, and instead of paying the priest for all the kindness done to Neeson and saving him from starvation, Liam Neeson robs the priest by taking all his family silver, and costly household items that he could sell and get money in return for. When the priest heard the noises, he thought there was someone in the house like a thief, and when the priest saw that it was Liam Neeson trying to rob him, he was surprised, but he turned in the other cheek by giving up the rest of his household items to Neeson in addition to what Neeson already stole from him. The priest told him that he hoped with all those items stolen, he would be able to save Neeson`s life from fear and hatred.

This is a very powerful testimony of God`s love to us and the way that priest reacted in the movie- he sowed the seeds of forgiveness and love in return for all the betrayal by Neeson to the kindness he received in that house. After that Neeson left, and he was able to start his life from scratch as a new man, changing his name, his old values of life, and he became a mayor in the city. Neeson became a very respectable man, who treated other people and his workers with dignity, compassion, and fairness. All that was a fruit of the priest`s act of love that he showed as an example to Neeson; he gave in even his “shirt” when something that belong to him by right was taken from him by force.

Here is the link on the YouTube for the beginning of the movie (it`s a powerful movie that was based on the classic author Hugo`s novel “Les Miserables”.

Scene: "I've ransomed you from fear and hatred" - Les Miserables 1998


The same way Jesus tells us to treat those who offend us and mistreat us, so we know the cost of forgiveness for ourselves. I don`t think I would have fully appreciated everything God did for me if I didn`t go through these afflictions. It is going through these trials, I see God`s love so clearly and His patience with me when I didn`t respond the Godly way to my husband and to others; the way Jesus instructed us to act.

My husband took away from me our house, my car, all our household possessions, our daughter, and I had to turn in the other cheek and give him even my “shirt”, but I didn`t do that. I tried to take back what belonged to me, like my car (and I got it through the court order), money (I now have child support payments in place), our house (my husband still has that), our dogs (he also has them along with the house).

When reading this scripture I am conflicted because I know I should let go asking for my house back, yet it`s hard for me to let go of it knowing how much time and money I have invested. On one hand, I don`t see value in tangible possessions, but on the other hand, it`s hard for me to let go of some things.

When reading this scripture, I believe that God reminded me not to get hung up on the past and on things my husband did to me, but to look at the present and concentrate on what`s in front of my eyes. This Sunday me and my husband would be going to the neutral church for the service and meeting with the pastor, and I pray to be open to what`s going to happen, so I could make the right decisions, choices, and stay obedient to God. I have to hash out what`s acceptable according to His word and what`s not, and this scripture is a milestone for me to remind myself not to seek payback from my husband but to look for ways to minister to him instead.

God is just, and He will reward my heart if I will guard it and keep it in the right perspective. I pray to stay on the right track and to commit to giving up the last thing if necessary, knowing that it could potentially save the lives of others.   

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Learning Obedience

Hebrews 5:7-14 (NIV)

7 During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.
8 Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered
9 and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him
10 and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.
11 We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand.
12 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!
13 Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.
14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

I just can`t stop to wonder in the ways God gets across His message. As I was going through these turmoil not knowing what to expect or do next, I came across movie about Jeremiah; the movie is based on the book of prophet Jeremiah with Patrick Dempsey. As I started watching it, I didn`t expect much because I thought it would be perverted scripture and plot, but to my surprise, all the details of the movie were right according to the events that took place during the prophecies of Jeremiah, and that movie really spoke to my heart. When I think about Jeremiah, I realize that not only did God start on him at a very early age, but most of his life was spent in prisons for the truth that He was saying to the people. The king kept sending him to jail and mud wholes for extended periods of time because nobody wanted to listen to the truth. God showed me how much Jeremiah struggled throughout his ministry because he had to do things against his will, and things that he suffered taught him obedience to God`s word. It is much the same way I suffer and struggle when going through my persecution by my husband and his family that I can relate to Jeremiah and understand that God is there for me regardless of whether I feel Him or not.

When I was reading the letter to Hebrews, this was an amazing reminder for me from God that even Jesus was taught obedience through His sufferings and cries. There are two important parts in this scripture which was crucial for me to refresh on while going through my sufferings and learning obedience to God.

The first point is: sufferings teach us obedience to God, and there is no way out of this given our fallen sinful nature. Throughout the Bible we can see that through the sufferings God conformed people to obey Him and to serve Him. Job had to suffer losing everything (Job 1-2), Manasseh had to go captive to Assyrians and suffer in order to submit to God (2 Chronicles 33:11-13), Paul lost his eye sight in order to accept Jesus (Acts 9), David`s child died after his adultery with Bathsheba, and through that suffering he turned to God with repentance (2 Samuel 12); the list goes on and on. We can see how God used different hardships in the lives of His servants and ministers in order to conform them into His image and make them obedient to His word.
The second important part of this scripture is us being able to digest “hard food” of His word once fed on His “milk”. Walk with the Lord produces spiritual maturity and obedience produces maturity, which God uses in return for His glory and ministries.

Paul would have never been able to accept Jesus the way he was if he didn`t go through those horrible 3 days of not seeing and being blinded by God`s light. Manasseh would have never repented if he didn`t go through this humbling experience of physical pain and humiliation being a king and going to captivity. The same thing goes for me. I would have never matured and continued to grow if I didn`t undergo through these sufferings because I can see more and more God`s mercy and love through even small victories.
It all comes down to what I choose to believe and obey. It is clearly said here in Hebrews that even Jesus cried and suffered to be obedient to God, but in the end Lord rewarded Him by making Him the Highest Priest. And it`s true with all the trials- they are always followed by abundant blessings. God is faithful, and He is true, so from what I know and can see in scriptures, He always blessed those who stood up for Him to the end. Job received many times more in his possessions that what he had in the beginning, Manasseh was returned home, David was still a king, Paul`s eye sight returned to him and he was able to serve the Lord for many more years, Esther was able to save her people and stay the queen, Ruth was able to save her mother-on-law`s name and become prosperous, Naomi (Ruth`s mother-in-law) was blessed with the grandchildren bore by Ruth, and the list goes on and on. God always blesses those who stay obedient to His word and stay to the end.

Our God also desires for us to keep moving in growth, so we could feed on His spiritual food and not just milk alone. Paul is rebuking here in the lack of spiritual growth by saying that instead of them being teachers by now, they continue to feed off the milk (verse 12). This happens a lot with the Christians who continue to live a carnal life- they lack spiritual growth, and that lack of growth gradually and redundantly brings them to backsliding and continuous sinning.
I had to take a note of that for myself because undergoing this much pressure and hardships, it`s too easy for me to fall into my old ways of thinking and start doubting everything God is doing or not doing. I have to catch my thoughts in constant doubts and fears of endless probabilities ending not in my favor. When that happens, I start praying and praising God for all his goodness and everything He is doing. I will look at the promises and not at my circumstances, and God will be faithful to meet me there.

I think it`s important for us to take heart on the fact that if even Jesus went through these hardships and sufferings in order to learn obedience necessary to carry out God`s plan to the end, we, as rebellious as we tend to be, all the more have to undergo through this “military training” in order to be conformed into the image of our Lord and Savior.
I urge you to seek for more and to seek to grow spiritually, so you are able to digest “hard meals” instead of leaning on milk which will end one of these days just like Manna ended in the desert for Israelites when they chose to continue to rebel against God and lacked their spiritual growth. God will bless those who seek Him and desire more of Him.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Jehovah El Roi


Psalm 50: 14-15 (NKJV)

14Offer to God thanksgiving, and pay your vows to the Most High.
15 Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.”


Psalm 50: 22-23 (NKJV)

22“Now consider this, you who forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver:

23Whoever offers praise glorifies Me; and to him who orders his conduct aright I will show the salvation of God.”

As I keep praying for God`s guidance and clarity for what to do next, He showed me this psalm today and reminded me that one of His names is El Roi- God Who sees. My Lord knows everything, and He sees everything, so I made a decision to praise Him and to give Him my thanksgivings for things He`s done for me.
I will thank Him:

1.    For my daughter dropping on her knees and folding her hands to pray yesterday; there is no greater reward than seeing my prayers and example producing fruit in her life to praise God.


2.    For provided child support payments to keep my bills paid on time


3.    For my job that pays my bills


4.    For my family who supports me financially (especially my sister and her husband who sent me endless amount of money to pay for attorneys)


5.    For previous victories in the court that I had so far


6.    For being able to provide for my daughter and buy her nice clothes, shoes, food, toys, books, etc.


7.    For God opening His word to me and sustaining me through it


8.    For God protecting me and providing for me in the most amazing way: giving me the great location for my apartment, all the furniture that I have all the household necessary items.


9.    For saving me from being homeless


10. For providing me with all the necessary financial amounts to pay all my bills on time and even more, so I don`t have any delinquent or outstanding payments.


11. For God always being there for me even when I don`t feel  it or think it`s true


12. For Jesus sacrifice on the cross and for the grace and mercy that God shows me every day even when I am too wrapped up in my own problems to notice it and appreciate it.


13. For my car that`s running and for air conditioner being fixed, so even on the most hot days like now, I can stay cool.
 
As I was praying on a way to work and praising God, I realized that once again, I tried to fit Him in my own schedule, and that`s not how it works. It is He who is God and not me. It is He who knows the right time and not me. I may be weary and exhausted from endless amount of separations with my daughter and spiritual battles, but God Sees it all and knows it all.

Hagar when running away from Sarah was stranded in the desert, and she thought she would die there, but angel of God appeared to her and encouraged her not to lose heart. In Genesis it`s says:
13She gave this name to theLord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me, ” for she said, “I have now seen[c] the One who sees me.” 14 That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi[d]; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered. (Genesis 16:12-14 NIV)

God told Hagar to return to Sarah and to submit to her, but He also promised Hagar that he would make her descendants as a large nation, and God kept His promise. I have to come to terms that only God sees everything and knows what`s going on, and only God knows what`s better for now and for later, so I have to submit to His will. I refuse to rebel again against His will and against my circumstances. It is a tough going, it is very exhausting, but I choose to trust that I believe in Jehovah El Roi who sees and knows everything, and who is also Jehovah Jereh who provides a way when there is no way (Genesis 22:12-14). I choose to glorify my God and to give Him praise because I know that that`s the powerful weapon that Satan always tries to destroy by sowing doubts in my heart and mind, and I reject them because I`ve seen many miracles of God in my life.
Thank you Lord, for being there for me even when I am so wrapped up in my problems that I don`t take my time to appreciate everything you do for me. I am calling you on the day of my trouble, so You could deliver me, and I could glorify You because only You can save me! I refuse to forget everything you`ve done for me and continue to do because You have always been there for me even when I am too rebellious to acknowledge it; in Jesus Name I pray and thank You, Lord, my God El Roi, Who sees everything! Amen.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

"Would Not God Search This Out?"

Psalm 44:20-26 (NKJV)

20If we had forgotten the name of our God, or stretched out our hands to a foreign god,
21 Would not God search this out? For He knows the secrets of the heart.
22 Yet for Your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
23Awake! Why do You sleep, O Lord?Arise! Do not cast us off forever.
24 Why do You hide Your face,and forget our affliction and our oppression?
25 For our soul is bowed down to the dust; our body clings to the ground.
26 Arise for our help,and redeem us for Your mercies’ sake.

There is nothing better than reading Psalms when feeling so depressed and oppressed, and that`s what I do as frequently as I can especially when I am as frustrated as I am now. David has been through many battles, and he had to cry out to God endless amount of time, as I do now. This is exactly the prayer that I have for God today: I feel oppressed and forsaken; I feel hopeless and cast down knowing that only God can show His mercy and deliver me from all this.

I like the way David always comes to God with reminders of His glory in the previous protection of His people. David has a dual meaning for that: to give praise to the Lord and to remind Him that it was Him who delivered His people out of the hands of the enemy. That reminder is a way of interceding for the circumstances, and I pray that way too.

I feel like even if anything small I do wrong, I would be squashed and held accountable for, but my husband would keep getting away with all the evil he does. Although this would contradict God`s character, this is how I feel right now- forsaken and distressed. How much more can I take people calling me “crazy” for trusting in God and believing God is true to His word? I`m looking through all these accounts in the Bible of how much Job endured (1 year of horror), disciples going through persecution, David being on a run for many years from Saul, etc., and I don`t see the end to my sufferings. I only pray not to lose heart, so I could continue to praise the Lord even if I don`t understand the delay of my victory.

I may refuse to understand why He only gave me success in one of the three requested things in court, but He knows why, and He had a reason for that. So I have to trust that He knows better than me what needs to be done. The problem is that I can`t endure another separation with my daughter; especially knowing that there is no hope for a change until the final hearing which who knows when will take place. I am left yet again to submit to God and wait because I have no other choice.

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

I have no right of accusing God for not standing up for me because He does protect me; I am just frustrated because I am weary to wait anymore for what I want. This is where I have to humble my heart before God and say that it`s not my will to be done, but Thine will be done on earth like in heaven. It`s important that I don`t lose heart, but I have to wait to the end to harvest.

I surrender to You, Lord, all my doubts, fears, and frustration, and I plead for forgiveness. Please, Lord, sustain me on the right path. I thank you, God, even for a small victory and a breakthrough that you granted me in my favor to rule on child support, and I trust You with that, so you could continue what you started. This is not my battle, but Your battle. I pray this, in Jesus Name. Amen.  


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

So What Now?

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

God is impossible; He is impossible to understand or for me to argue with Him because I would never find out a full picture or reasons for what`s happening in my life until I see Him face to face and would be able to ask all my questions.

This is the main scripture that I can cling to when I am so down and worn out from not understanding what God is doing. The question is: “Can I still be “humble in heart”, or will I continue to rebel against God`s decision for my Monday`s temporary hearing`s outcome? I find it extremely hard to stay humble in my heart, like Jesus was when taken for His trial and death sentence”, and I can only cry to God: “Why? When will this horror end in my life? How much more do I need to suffer before some major breakthrough will take place in my favor?”

As I mentioned before, I had a temporary hearing scheduled for Monday, the 18-th where issues like child support, change in custody (which to shift status quo was near to impossible with the judge that I got), attorney`s fees had to be decided. All I got was child support, and nothing else was changed or decided, so custody stayed as it is right now (status quo didn`t change), and attorney`s fees weren`t decided by the judge but were left to decide at my final two day trial which would most likely be scheduled for the fall.

As I walked out of the court room, I knew that my husband was very mad for having to pay me child support now, and I was mad that I didn`t get the full custody of my daughter, so it stayed joined for now. I couldn`t even concentrate on any scriptures to keep me going because I was so broken down by the outcome of this hearing. After 8 months of endless waiting, nothing got changed still regarding custody, and all I can ask God is “Why?” What do I do now and how can I testify of His goodness when I am hit with endless amount of trials and more trials and more torture.

I should be grateful to God that the judge ruled in my favor, given that during these temporary hearings only status quo maintains, so getting child support appointed to me was a shift in my favor, but the money would not equal for me to what it meant to get custody, so my daughter doesn`t have to go through these horrible separation weeks. Step by step, God is turning situation in my favor, but it takes too long, and I find myself more than weary right now. I find myself incapacitated spiritually to even open the scriptures.

One of the main scriptures that I read before my hearing was in John 11:

When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.” “But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?” (Verses 4-8 NIV)

There are few important points that God showed me here:

- God used the sickness of Lazarus to bring out His glory, and that`s why God allows some tormenting circumstances in our lives- it`s to bring out His glory.

- Jesus loved His friends: Lazarus, Martha, and Maria, who were three different characters and relationships with God, yet despite the fact that Maria is shown in the scripture as the most devoted one, it says here that Jesus loved all three of them equally. This is God`s character- He doesn`t take sides or preferences, but He loves all of us equally.

- Jesus knew the right time when to head back for help, so only God knows when it is exactly I need His assistance. He does allow us sometimes to “gulp some water”, so we appreciate it when He doesn`t allow us to drown and saves us; otherwise, we tend to be too stubborn to accept His hand. Only God knows when it is the right time to scoop me up and save me from drowning. His timing is usually not the same as what I would think would be the right time.

- Jesus went back to Judea despite the fact that it was dangerous for His life, as we see His disciples pointing out to Him that not so long ago He almost got stoned. I had to go for one more hearing on Monday and return to that “Judea” where I almost “got stoned” in my previous hearings although God sustained me and preserved my life. This is called trusting God and obeying His will.

After re-reading these verses, I feel like I`m preaching to myself more than to anyone else because I realize despite the outcome on the temporary hearing, although I didn`t get what I wanted, but God showed me His favor and He gave me what He thinks I need for now in order to make some upcoming changes to my circumstances.

On a third day after the hearing, now I can rationalize it a little better and realize that although I didn`t get what I wanted, but only God knew on Monday what I needed to get in order to make the shift in my circumstances. If that meant that I only get child support, than that`s what I needed to get, and I got it.

This is the time when I come to God, and I say the same thing Job said:

Then Job answered the Lord and said: “I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge? ’Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:1-6 NKJV)
I can only tell God that He can do everything, and only He knows what`s going on because I only can see the particles of the physical circumstances, and I don`t see the spiritual battles that take place at the same time. I do realize that given the kind of a judge I had on Monday, what I got was a miracle at all that he ruled on my favor, yet I am weary from waiting for any major change in custody, in my relationships with my husband, and God bringing out the truth because my husband was lying on the stand to make himself look better.

I do struggle with what`s going to be next because my finances have limits for my attorney, and I don`t have enough to last me until the final hearing, but God knows it all. It doesn`t matter how much I cry, it doesn`t matter what I feel, God will not change His plans only because I don`t understand something right now. That`s why I can only come to Jesus and ask Him to take my yoke and burdens from me because I am very, very weary right now.
Please continue to pray for me for God to give me strength to keep going and to resist the temptation of turning my ways back and becoming a backslider loosing hope that God would deliver me. I`m praying for God`s peace and direction as to what to do next.