1 Corinthians 13: 4-5 (NKJV)
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
This is something that the Holy Spirit convicted me of today as I opened today`s devotional to define part of God`s true love. I had to remind myself that Love is Long Patient and it Suffers Long. This is exactly what I go through now- suffering long. It`s been a very long and draining journey, but I can see the way God`s been changing me throughout this whole period of time.
I could never even consider admitting being rude or proud when admitting my mistakes or take responsibility for my piece of the mess in my marriage, and now I don`t have any problems admitting my faults, my side of the problem. I am very grateful to God for changing my heart and softening it to accept my faults in order to change them.
Last week I had a scheduling conference where the dates for the upcoming temporary hearing, mediation, pre-trial settlement conference were identified, and my husband once again attempted to get what he wanted, which was avoiding temporary hearing where the decision regarding custody, use and possession of the house, all legal fees repayment, etc. is going to be decided. He attempted to use the sessions with the pastor that we went to the week before as an excuse to show we are working on reconciling; hence we are not in need of the temporary hearing. After our last meeting with the pastor for the counseling session, he tried to use that to make me look as if I contradict myself when requesting legal separation stating that reconciliation is impossible while refusing to take accountability and full responsibility for his actions.
As our pastor emailed us the rules for the possible continuous counseling, I felt the urge to share both side`s legal documents to avoid counter-arguing during the counseling sessions, and this is where the Holy spirit got me good. He reminded me that if my whole purpose of the agreement for the counseling was to make all possible attempts to bring my husband back to God and to repentance, than I should have been humble as Jesus was when He was accused wrongly of the crimes He was not guilty of. I should have let God defend me and fight for me as He said that vengeance is His rather than proving my point by showing everything that my husband did to me.
35 It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near
and their doom rushes upon them. ” (Deuteronomy 32:35 NIV)
19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e] 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:19-21 NIV)
I was reminded once again that it would have been so much more productive for the Holy Spirit to move in my husband`s heart if I overcame his evil with my good ignoring all the injustice that he is attempting to do to me. I repented in responding to prove my own justice, and I pray that God would give me another chance to make the difference in my circumstances. My husband agreed to drive to the neutral church, Calvary Chapel but in our local different area, and in the agreement we were supposed to attend two services out of the month together, even if we drove separate, which would allow my husband a chance to listen to the correct interpretation of the Bible, since he used to go to Calvary with me before he switched churches and went astray completely. After attending the church together with our daughter, we would have a counseling session with our pastor, and we are to do that for 3 months (2 sessions per month).
It all comes down to biting my tongue and searching the Lord to give me patience and self-control; the goal of these meetings is not for me to prove me right because for that I have ongoing litigation and God Who is going to bring all the truth out, but the purpose of these meetings is for God to start the work in my husband`s heart by allowing him to be in the right biblical environment and to hear the truth of God. That would enable God to move in his heart and to make him aware of the things my husband does wrong.
As I am praying for God to sustain me to commit to long suffering, long patience, to do good in return for evil, to love the unlovable, I ask the Lord to strengthen me in my commitment to bite my tongue to ignore all the alec remarks and lies that my husband says when twisting my words or my attorney`s, so be it.
Please pray for me, so God gives me His love, wisdom, grace to overcome evil by doing good, so that all the long suffering I go through produces fruit in His honor!
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
This is something that the Holy Spirit convicted me of today as I opened today`s devotional to define part of God`s true love. I had to remind myself that Love is Long Patient and it Suffers Long. This is exactly what I go through now- suffering long. It`s been a very long and draining journey, but I can see the way God`s been changing me throughout this whole period of time.
I could never even consider admitting being rude or proud when admitting my mistakes or take responsibility for my piece of the mess in my marriage, and now I don`t have any problems admitting my faults, my side of the problem. I am very grateful to God for changing my heart and softening it to accept my faults in order to change them.
Last week I had a scheduling conference where the dates for the upcoming temporary hearing, mediation, pre-trial settlement conference were identified, and my husband once again attempted to get what he wanted, which was avoiding temporary hearing where the decision regarding custody, use and possession of the house, all legal fees repayment, etc. is going to be decided. He attempted to use the sessions with the pastor that we went to the week before as an excuse to show we are working on reconciling; hence we are not in need of the temporary hearing. After our last meeting with the pastor for the counseling session, he tried to use that to make me look as if I contradict myself when requesting legal separation stating that reconciliation is impossible while refusing to take accountability and full responsibility for his actions.
As our pastor emailed us the rules for the possible continuous counseling, I felt the urge to share both side`s legal documents to avoid counter-arguing during the counseling sessions, and this is where the Holy spirit got me good. He reminded me that if my whole purpose of the agreement for the counseling was to make all possible attempts to bring my husband back to God and to repentance, than I should have been humble as Jesus was when He was accused wrongly of the crimes He was not guilty of. I should have let God defend me and fight for me as He said that vengeance is His rather than proving my point by showing everything that my husband did to me.
35 It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near
and their doom rushes upon them. ” (Deuteronomy 32:35 NIV)
19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e] 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:19-21 NIV)
I was reminded once again that it would have been so much more productive for the Holy Spirit to move in my husband`s heart if I overcame his evil with my good ignoring all the injustice that he is attempting to do to me. I repented in responding to prove my own justice, and I pray that God would give me another chance to make the difference in my circumstances. My husband agreed to drive to the neutral church, Calvary Chapel but in our local different area, and in the agreement we were supposed to attend two services out of the month together, even if we drove separate, which would allow my husband a chance to listen to the correct interpretation of the Bible, since he used to go to Calvary with me before he switched churches and went astray completely. After attending the church together with our daughter, we would have a counseling session with our pastor, and we are to do that for 3 months (2 sessions per month).
It all comes down to biting my tongue and searching the Lord to give me patience and self-control; the goal of these meetings is not for me to prove me right because for that I have ongoing litigation and God Who is going to bring all the truth out, but the purpose of these meetings is for God to start the work in my husband`s heart by allowing him to be in the right biblical environment and to hear the truth of God. That would enable God to move in his heart and to make him aware of the things my husband does wrong.
As I am praying for God to sustain me to commit to long suffering, long patience, to do good in return for evil, to love the unlovable, I ask the Lord to strengthen me in my commitment to bite my tongue to ignore all the alec remarks and lies that my husband says when twisting my words or my attorney`s, so be it.
Please pray for me, so God gives me His love, wisdom, grace to overcome evil by doing good, so that all the long suffering I go through produces fruit in His honor!
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