Psalm 109:29-31 (NIV)
29May my accusers be
clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.
30With my mouth I will
greatly extol the Lord; in the
great throng of worshipers I will praise him.
31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save their lives from those who would condemn them.
31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save their lives from those who would condemn them.
This
is yet another promise of God to those who trust in Him. He promised to stand
by at the right hand of the needy, and I am needy right now. I need God`s
guidance and love to make the right decisions as to what`s coming for me. I
have a lot of people who condemned me along with my husband and who sided with
my husband, but I pray that God would bring out His justice and bring out His
truth.
After
last Sunday`s meeting with my husband and our neutral pastor, we left
unresolved everything as it is now, and I didn`t think there would be any more
changes until the final hearing. However, on Tuesday I heard back from my
husband who initiated the conversation to start the negotiations to put a halt
to our case and stop the legal process. I was in shock to see his email as I
was typing up the same kind of a message to him, but he was first to send it to
me, so I knew that it was the answer from the Lord to resolve specific things
to move on with the reconciliation. I proposed that we rescind any previous
orders that we currently have in place as a result of my husband`s dishonesty
and dirty methods, and will go back to having custody over our daughter 100/100
meaning there is no custody in place, but us deciding everything together for
our daughter. Not only will it ease the pressure as to how we act around each other
when we have our daughter with us, but it would put to test the main area of
trust for us to each other. My husband proposed that we made a list of things
that each one of us wanted to negotiate when getting back together, and tonight
we are supposed to meet to discuss them.
This
is the first time I see this kind of willingness on his part to initiate and to
negotiate since before he was sure he would win every single battle in court,
but after the last temporary hearing ruled in my favor for my husband to start
paying me child support, he changed his attitude. This is one of the things
that I gave up to God when I was praying as to why the last hearing ended up
with only one thing being decided in my favor and the other two requested
claims left unresolved until the final hearing, and I guess God knew what was
necessary to take place to change my husband`s attitude. When I think about
this, I realize how much we need to trust God and rely that what He allows is
only for our own good and wellbeing even if we don`t understand that at the
moment.
There
are many issues to work through for us, and I don`t know how they will get
resolved yet, but I pray for God`s guidance and wisdom to make the right
decisions. All these things have to be worked through, but there is a clause to
it: they must be decided according to God`s word and His truth. As I look at
today`s verses in Psalm 109, I
realize that God is not going to be mocked in all of His promises. David was a
warrior, and when he wrote these verses, he knew God`s character from his
previous battles and his victories. David knew what God`s promises meant and
what they were capable of changing.
David
also wrote in Psalm 37:5-6 (NKJV):
5Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall
bring it to pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
There
is nothing better than committing my ways to the Lord because His ways are
higher than mine and He knows better than me what needs to happen in order for
my circumstances to turn for the better. God promises over and over to bring
forth righteousness and justice, so I must trust that so long as I commit my
way to Him, He will do the impossible with that.
Although
I don`t wish any malice for my husband or for any of those who wished me harm
and attempted to destroy my life and the life of my daughter, I wish for God`s
justice and for His truth to come out. This is nothing shameful to desire, and
I would have been a hypocrite if I didn`t think that or prayed about that. The
only particular detail about this is I pray that I don`t have to be the one
testifying against my husband in the court or being the one going against him,
but let it be others. I pray that God uses people and circumstances to bring
him down to his knees to complete brokenness and surrender to the Lord because
I think that without that no change is possible especially for someone as
prideful as my husband.
I
know that God would not allow me to burn down or to be broken down being
already bruised and cracked in so many places from enduring so many hardships
and afflictions. In Isaiah 42:3-4 (NKJV)
God promised that:
3 A bruised reed He will
not break, and smoking flax He will not quench; He will bring forth justice for
truth. 4 He will not fail nor be discouraged, till He has
established justice in the earth; and the coastlands shall wait for His law.”
I
believe that God would not allow me to get broken being already so bruised and
hurt; I believe that there will be a day when I would look back and remember no
more any of these horrible trials that I`m going through and would be able to
say that I`m grateful for them because now I am so much stronger spiritually.
I
have God`s promise that He would protect me from all those who condemn me. There
are too many instances when I heard my husband, his family, and his friends
condemned me for my faith in God. To condemn someone means to “officially
declare to be unfit for use”, and my husband openly wrote that in his
complaints for the court claim. He stated that I was an “unfit” mother to care
for our daughter, and she should be taken away from me and be given to him. He
condemned me for living my life for God because it goes against his carnal
selfish lifestyle; he condemned me for many different things and proclaimed me
to be “unfit”, but God says the opposite. God in His word promises that He
would stand by the right hand of those who are being condemned. In my Bible
(different language), it literally says that God would save from those who judge.
God
has been fighting all my battles for me, and as you read through my previous
articles and see God`s miracles that took place when I had the impossible
situations, you can see that God is faithful to His word. If you face a
situation that you think could not be resolved, please trust that God will
stand by those who are needy and will save you from those who condemn you. God
said in Jeremiah 32:27 (NIV):
27 “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is
anything too hard for me?
There is nothing that
could be impossible for God to fix or to rebuild, or to destroy if necessary,
but I also think it would be impossible for us to come to this state of mind
without having very personal relationships with the Lord because the only way
to live by faith is through knowing who God is, and what His plan is for one`s
life. Please trust that whatever happens is only for the better because God has
only the very best intentions for His children even if you don`t understand
something right now and why it`s happening like I am. I choose to trust
the Lord, and to choose that He would stand by my right side to deliver me out
of the condemnation.
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